Big fan of the “Couch to Fit,” or “Couch to World Class Chef” type apps (I think I made the second one up. Kathy?). Basic premise? Start from no experience, and through gradual and incremental steps, goals suddenly become conceivable and achievable. A reminder that with any goal, we can’t realistically reach it all at once.
Think of your pain, hurt, sorrow, and any other negative feelings as a small amount of bleach. Bleach alone is very powerful. I should know. It ate a hole through my favorite shirt.
Anyway, if I was more adept at laundry I would know that bleach’s power can be weakened with the proper amount of water. Add enough water and the solution dilutes so much so that only traces of bleach may be found.
You may ask what the heck am I talking about. Well, each time your negative feelings surface, if you sit with them, explore them, and even talk about them, it is like adding water to the bleach of negative feelings. At times it may only be a drop or two, other times more. But each time you confront your feelings instead of run, those feelings lose their strength. As time goes by, whatever triggers you may experience will begin to be followed by lesser and lesser amounts of pain, sorrow, etc, until only trace amounts remain, if any at all.
Suppose instead of running and hiding from our negative feelings we allowed ourselves to feel them. Suppose instead of masking them or distracting ourselves from them we actually sat with them. Would we find them to be so bad? Would we survive them? Would they be our undoing? Or rather, would they be the key to unlocking valuable insight into who we truly are?
I think the word “selfish” gets a bad rap. Looking out for yourself should be considered a good thing, no? Ok, so the whole, “to the exclusion of others” part is hard to reconcile, but take that out and you’ve got a great recipe for honoring your needs and making you and your interests a top priority in your life. And hell, if you’re not going to prioritize yourself, who will?
Took a mental health holiday. You should too. Just not too long, and not from reading my blog.
The beauty of “isness” if you can accept its nature is that it frees us from illusions of good, bad, and otherwise that are often tied to our propensity for judgment. With isness, there is no need for judgment. Just acceptance and surrender.
And yes, I’m pretty sure I made up the word isness.
Try to employ the phrase “it is what it is” more in your daily life. Too often our judgements of people, things, and/or situations lead to sadness, fear, worry, jealousy, shame, guilt, or regret. For better or for worse, sometimes things just simply “are”.